Write a Secular Wedding Ceremony

Writing a secular wedding ceremony can be challenging, given that most sample ceremonies —and articles with advice on writing your own — are laced with religious language. For the non-religious, this part of the wedding planning process can present quite a headache.

The first step in writing any ceremony is to make an outline. Most ceremonies follow a prescribed formula, starting with a welcome greeting by the officiant, readings, vow exchange, ring exchange and closing remarks. You’ll need to decide at this point whether you want to follow the traditional formula or strike out on your own. Many non-religious ceremonies forgo the use of readings, but it’s fairly easy, too, to find secular poems, quotes and book excerpts that discuss love and commitment without discussing religion or God.

You and your partner should sit down and think of some common threads you’d like to touch on. Maybe you’d like your ceremony to focus on a certain theme or concept. Jot down a few words and phrases that will help you incorporate that theme into the ceremony.

The next step is to research secular ceremony samples online. Luckily, the Internet is a great resource with a slew of examples of different ceremonies — ones that mix religious traditions, eschew religion altogether or are completely non-traditional and out-of-the-box. Once you have a handful of samples, find the passages that speak the most to you. You can copy them word-for-word if they really fit what you are looking for, tweak a few words and phrases or simply use the spirit of the sample for inspiration to write your own.

Weave your theme or concept throughout the entire ceremony, interspersing your previously chosen words and phrases to stick to your theme. Read through it several times before the big day to make sure it all flows.