Handle Personal and Professional Workplace Divides

The national news regarding sexual harassment and assault in Hollywood raised some serious issues for all workplaces. These will require adjustments to work environments in big and small ways. In the meanwhile, the question of what we can do now on a day-to-day basis remains. Workplace flirtations and relationships are a common part of life; however, if you are interested in someone or someone’s object of interest, there are some basic guidelines that might keep things clear.

• The No. 1 rule is, if in doubt, keep it professional. If you are not sure if someone wants to be friends or more than friends outside of the workplace, err on the side of keeping it professional.
• If you are interested in someone, instead of touching them or making a flirtatious joke, try asking them out for an actual coffee. Then make your interest clear and accept their decision whether it is what you hoped for or not.
• Never touch someone at work. This is a solid rule to live by. With the exception of a brush on the arm, there is never a reason to do this, unless they need medical attention.
• If you are on the receiving end of unwanted attention, be straightforward and make sure the other person knows the feelings are not mutual. Be professional and know you do not need to offer them an explanation. It is your right to not be interested for any number of reasons; do not prolong the conversation with excuses.
• Don’t worry about hurting feelings, worry about expressing yourself as clearly and kindly as possible.
• If you don’t want to be more than friends with someone, do not spend any one-on-one time with them that could be construed as a date. If you don’t want to go out for dinner with them, do not.
• And if there is a power discrepancy, your desire to keep things professional is justified ten-fold. In almost every case, a boss should never ask an employee out.

Employ the three times rule: If you say no to someone once, and they ask you again be honest with them, but tell a co-worker about it, and the third time report it to your human resources department just so they are aware of a pattern of behavior. Asking a colleague out three times when he or she says “no” means something is not computing.

Be confident and respectful to all while commanding the respect to which work entitles you.